Day 6 in Office- What I Eat in a Day

One of the questions I’m asked the most when I’m surrounded by my over 800 million adoring fans is what does the person of color house chef cook in a day?

Well listen, fat! Every president is different and my new administration is a very diverse crew of no whites except for ME and everyone I hired. Therefore our menu is also quite diverse.

Well first thing in the morning, my Sister Jill wakes me up with a steaming bowl of porridge. It’s soft and warm and soothing on the bare gums before I put my dentures in for the day.

for mid morning snack, I have a mug of ovaltine, mixed with prune juice. Keeps the pooper pristine, whoch is how China likes it whenever they swing by to f*ck America.

for lunch I have strained peas with a cup o noodles soup. Gotta keep the ethnics happy, after my “racial jungle” blunder..

Dinner is usually tapioca pudding but if I’m a really good boy, my cousin Jill will mash me some turkey broth with potatoes, which I can usually manage to gum down on my own.

then, after changing my diaper, she tucks me into bed, where I dream about one day being voted in to the person of color house, but for REALSIES this time!

well all you banshee faced monkey droppers, I bid you goodnight until tomorrow.

-KJB

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