TheBiden.WIN

Hey listen fats! I know a lot of you are upset about me reneging on my promise to send out $2000 checks, while simultaneously sending millions to Guatemalans and Hondurans,    so let me straighten the record for ya Jack! First off, my sister Kamala has informed me that reneged is a problematic term, which we don’t use anymore. I prefer re-roached. Secondly, every single one of those poor little Inferior brown people that I saved with my white guilt will one day be climbing our southern border wall, and when that day comes, they will be welcomed with open arms as new Americans! Therefore alllll that money went 100% to Americans! and not only that, Americans of the lesser persuasion who neeeeed me and my help as a problematic superior white person. And you can take THAT to the bank... unless we’ve disabled your bank accounts for wrongthink.  Well all you porky sifting lounge busters! I hope this cleared things up for you. Until tomorrow, KJB PS Don't forget to subscribe to...

  我有没有跟你说过玉米爆米花？好吧，扣上脂肪，因为这是一个您不想错过的完全真实的故事。 我学到了很多。我了解到这有所作为。这是跳水板区，我是守卫之一，不允许他们进入，那是3米长的板。如果您从侧面跌落，您会落在那该死的，该死的水泥上。 玉米棒是个坏家伙。而且他经营着一群坏男孩。我回想起那段日子，以展示事物的变化，这是您必须使用的东西之一，如果您在头发上使用Pomade，则必须戴上婴儿帽。所以他在董事会上，不听我的话。我说，‘嘿，埃丝特，你！离开董事会，不然我会上前把你拖走。’好吧，他下车了，他说，‘我会在外面见你。’ 拜登继续说道。“我的车主要是这些，都是我们后面的公共房屋。” “我的车–这里有一个大门。我把车停在门外。我–他说，‘我会等你的。他在等我三个剃须刀的家伙。不是开玩笑。有一个叫比尔·赖特·老鼠（Bill Wright Mouse）的家伙是唯一的白人，他负责所有比赛。他是个技工。我说，‘我该怎么办？’他说。 “来到地下室，那里是机械师–所有机械师–是所有泳池建造者所在的地方。”您知道链条，曾经有一条贯穿深层的链条。然后，他剪断了一条六英尺长的链，将其折叠起来，然后说：“您拿着那条链走出去，然后走到车上说：'您可以割伤我，但我会把它包起来这条链绕在你的头上。” 我说，“你在开玩笑。”他说，“如果你不，就不要回来。”他是对的。所以我走出了锁链。然后我走到我的车上。在那些日子里，您还记得剃须刀是直线剃须刀吗，您必须在路沿上敲打它们，让它们生锈，把它们放在雨桶中，让它们生锈吗？我看着他，但那时我很聪明。我说：“首先，”我说，“当我告诉您离开董事会时，您离开董事会，我会再次踢出您，但我不应该给您打电话给Esther Williams，我对此表示歉意。抱歉。’但我不知道道歉会奏效。 他说：“您向我道歉？”拜登继续说道。 “我说，‘我道歉，但不是为了把你赶出去，而是为我所说的道歉。’他说，‘好的，’把那把剃须刀盖好，我的心又开始跳动。 直到下次您所有的猪肉面香肠刺肠！ -KJB PS Don't forget to subscribe to  my Youtube channel

Ola, Latriots!  My cousin Jilly and I thought it might be nice to do something a little different for you all today. We thought we'd give you all a l'il glimpse at my daily schedule. No malarkey here folks, this is my 100% official schedule: As you can see they found it necessary to add: "4pm prez departs Maryland", and "4:10pm prez arrives at the person of color house" in order to make my schedule look a little fuller, but listen fat! I have NO insecurities about my inactivity as president. ZERO! Being installed as the leader of the free world when I clearly wasn't up to the task, is HAAAAAARD work man! BUT... I'm doing it for alllllll Americans. Even the Trump ones. Now let me bring my tone and volume down to a soothing coo as I say the next thing:  We need to come together with a plan. A plan for re-education. So we can all live in unity. In peace. In loyalty................   to the Chinese Communist Party . Well all you saucy nosed lace brigader...

I don’t know why everyone wants to know my thoughts on the top of this fella’s lap... the only lap I care about is mine. You’re  a cute kid, why don’t you come over here and sit on Uncy Bide Bide’s knee?  Now on the topic of Hunter Biden... I only have one son. Beau Biden. He died ya know, just like my wife when she found out about mine and Jilly’s affair. Tragic. Absolutely tragic. Now... what were we talking about? Oh yes, the thing.  Well I hope that answers your question, because I'd really like to put this topic to bed... And I don't mean temporarily passed out with a crack pipe in the mouth, I mean permanently! And if you have any more questions about this I’ll have my spokesxir circle back to you.   Well all you waffle shack carpet dowagers, until next time! KJB PS Don't forget to subscribe to  my Youtube channel

Hey listen fat! A lot of people have been saying recently that “crazy old Joe Biden doesn’t have a plan” for this covid pandemic, well listen fatty fat fat! I sure DO have a plan and my main man Anthony Fauci is gonna spell it out for you here: Well if that ain’t plan enough for you, jack, then YOU AINT BLACK!  Ooh boy I’m getting awfully hot under the collar over all these media LIES about me. I need my daughter Jill to make me a hot toddy and tuck me off to bed. Until next time you pork faced soggy lodgers! KJB PS Don't forget to subscribe to  my Youtube channel

Listen up all you dog eared pony sifters! I’m coming for your guns! Come on, maaaan? Just give em to me. My Wife Kamala reeeeeaaalllly wants me to get this done, and if there’s one thing you DONT wanna do, it’s piss off my sister Kamala. She’s got a collection of whips left over from her clerking days, that would make Old Billy Boy Clinton blush! Come on maaaan? At least your high capacity mags then? And those... what’s it called, you know, the thing! Assault rifles! I will have the opportunity to define assault rifle though, so basically any gun I want.  Ok then all you butcher eared donkey pavers... until next time. KJB PS Don't forget to subscribe to  my Youtube channel

One of the questions I’m asked the most when I’m surrounded by my over 800 million adoring fans is what does the person of color house chef cook in a day? Well listen, fat! Every president is different and my new administration is a very diverse crew of no whites except for ME and everyone I hired. Therefore our menu is also quite diverse. Well first thing in the morning, my Sister Jill wakes me up with a steaming bowl of porridge. It’s soft and warm and soothing on the bare gums before I put my dentures in for the day. for mid morning snack, I have a mug of ovaltine, mixed with prune juice. Keeps the pooper pristine, whoch is how China likes it whenever they swing by to f*ck America. for lunch I have strained peas with a cup o noodles soup. Gotta keep the ethnics happy, after my “racial jungle” blunder.. Dinner is usually tapioca pudding but if I’m a really good boy, my cousin Jill will mash me some turkey broth with potatoes, which I can usually manage to gum down on my own. then, af...

Have I ever told you about Corn Pop?? Well buckle up fat, cuz this is one totally true story that you don't wanna miss.   I learned a lot. And I learned that it makes a difference. This was the diving board area, and I was one of the guards, and they weren’t allowed to – it was a 3-meter board. And if you fell off sideways, you landed on the damn, er, darn cement over there.   And Corn Pop was a bad dude. And he ran a bunch of bad boys. And I did and back in those days – to show how things have changed – one of the things you had to use, if you used Pomade in your hair, you had to wear a baby cap. And so he was up on the board and wouldn’t listen to me. I said, ‘Hey, Esther, you! Off the board, or I’ll come up and drag you off.’ Well, he came off, and he said, ‘I’ll meet you outside.’ My car this – was mostly, these were all public housing behind us,” Biden continued. “My car – there was a gate on here. I parked my car outside the gate. And I – and he said, ‘I’ll be waiti...

Hey xirs, having some technical difficulties with the internetting today, but not to worry, my son’s girlfriend Natalie is over to help this old timer out with the tech. She’s a nice girl, Hair smells good, but seems a little young for my son... I think she might also be my granddaughter... but come on man?? who am I to judge?? Not sure what my boss Kamala has on the list for me to do today, but hopefully I don’t step in it again... my brother Jill only has so many damage control cookies to spare. well that’s it for today folks! Might be back later on depending on the site situation. Keep on keeping on all you truck faced doorknob plungers! -KJB PS Don't forget to subscribe to  my Youtube channel

Things are getting kind of weird here... I’m sure I’m just being paranoid but I swear ta Allah, that my sister Kamala tried to push me down the stairs not once, but THRICE! Am I losing more marbles than the ones Doc Fauci already diagnosed? Or is there malarkey afoot?  In other news, I signed some executive orders and would like to announce that my medical miracle vaccine, which I created myself is FINally being distributed. They said it couldn’t be done, but I PERSONALLY achieved this medical miracle. Haters will say it came out before I enterted the POC house. You’re welcome America. -KJB PS. I will be addressing  Rumours about the Hunter Biden  laptop soon.  PS Don't forget to subscribe to  my Youtube channel

Jonathan Taylor Thomas is trying to do, you know, the thing!  He thinks I’m not fit to hold the office of the presidency?? Well he and his soft brown lovely lady locks ain’t black!!!! Besides, Nancy and Mittens got my back on this one .  Speaking of mittens, my brother Jill is just bringing in some warm milk for me before I go bedtime. Goodnight latriots! -KJB PS Don't forget to subscribe to  my Youtube channel

Oh my Lanta! No malarkey here folks, but I overslept on my first day in office!!! I can’t believe it. Uncle Kamala is gonna be fawkin PISSSSSSED at me. I blame these gall darned mind pills they’re forcing me to take. Well gotta get to it! These Obama era child cages ain’t gonna fill themselves! Need a fresh supply of youthful hair to inhale. TTYL! -KJB  PS Don't forget to subscribe to  my Youtube channel

I’m just too excited. My daughter Jill is over here trying to sleep like a cat mouthed badger dodger, but I can’t stop thinking about how PISSED Cornpop is gonna be when he finds out about a certain executive order I’m working on regarding diving boards and public swimming pools. OK guys. G’night to all my blacks out there! XOXO -KJB PS Don't forget to subscribe to  my Youtube channel

Well, today was Inauguration Day. I've been doing absolutely nothing for the past 40 odd years in preparation for this moment! Now, after a long two hour work day filled with pomp and glory, I’m just sitting here in my hot tub wishing I had someone to rub back the white hair on my legs, while I reflect on this historic day.  If you told me one year ago that today I’d be sitting here in the white house as King of America, Hehe well heck, I’d hafta say "sonofabitch, we did it China!" I must say though, I was quite disappointed at the lack of Patriots at my inauguration. I guess everyone was late! They should be called latriots! Not patriots! Heh heh. Corn pop knows I'm a bit of a joker, and you'll catch on soon, kiddos. But back on the topic of attendees. Who am I kidding? Uncle Kamala made it very clear to me that schedules are a product of white supremacy, so if you managed to show up to my inauguration today, then you ain't black! Well that's it for now. ...